Roper, Dancer, Puppeteer, Whaler
- demichellewrites
- Apr 4
- 3 min read
Sometimes I wonder, better yet, I wish that I were a roper at a ranch. I feel like I would be someone standing alone at the center of the ring. I’d be holding a lasso and all of the other people who surround me in my life, who believe they have control, just keep running and swerving around each other.
In my mind, that’s what it’s like. There’s one me and 30 voices dancing in my brain. I’m the only one who can lead so I have to dance with everyone of them.
I ask each, we dance, they speak control, and then I move on.
I’m swinging the rope, but I can’t seem to catch anybody. I’m getting some serious practice at roping which I don’t really see the need for in the real world. But…..
I’ve got a group of, let’s say, 10 people on my right and another group of 10 people on my left. The gun has been shot and everyone is moving around, randomly, into and out of each others worlds.
Each and every one of them, controls everything and everyone in the entire world. Since they can not access the world at large, they focus on me. Yay me.
In the ring there’s often a collision, I can hear flesh collide as each two fall and the two people who have collided will argue incessantly that the other owes them an apology. Because each one is in total control of everyone.
The confusion is that, nobody sees, hears, notices the others running. Each one IS a world that RUNS everything.
Suddenly, I hear another shotgun and the bull pen opens to another group of 10 people who RUN my world.
I need to make the word run stand out because I need my reader to understand my world. The problem there is, I can describe my life into a number of different events.
I’ve tried explaining myself as a puppet while eight other people hold the strings. Eight people who RUN my body.
I’ve used a boat of fisherman approaching a mass of breaching whales. That outlines a different set of people who work with no empathy and no remorse. These people RUN my mind.
Now, here we have all 3. Roping, I suppose, best represents the chaos involved in trying to work through all of my traumas.
Rope, puppet, whales, dance, pyramid
You’ll notice that the word RUN is in capital letters. This is the hardest to explain.
I can’t say they think they run my body. The people I am describing KNOW that they run me! There is no thought process to it. There are no IFS.
The ropers KNOW that they run me.
The puppeteers KNOW that they run my thoughts. The whalers KNOW that they control everything about me. Even above and beyond the other two groups.
I can’t even say ‘pretend’ that they……there is no pretension about anything.
Puppet nonsense, breaching whales Chaos and the dance.
I’ve even used an inverted pyramid but the description needed way too many words. Odd words from a wordsmith. So, I deleted it.
I’m thinking that because I love to dance and because I can, and because I can lead, that’s probably going to be the best comparison going forward.
But I keep saying that and then I keep changing my mind so let’s see what happens.
We hear you,
deMichelle
WIGT, WIGT….what I’m going through while I’m going through it
Buy now - off the Dance Floor
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